Target 'Engaged' Customer, Not Satisfied Customer
Sadly, last night Billy Bob Consumer died in an alley of a strip mall anchored by two large consumer electronics retail chains. The body was determined initially to have been crushed by a sea of consumer electronics clerks. The clerks were pressuring Billy Bob to add an extended warranty to his last purchase. Foul play was ruled out as his wallet and credit cards appeared to have remained untouched.
Police on the scene stated that the death had nothing to do with extended warranties, but rather the fervor of the sales clerks to earn satisfaction survey points with their employers and thus greater bonus payouts.
Billy Bob Consumer is known throughout the world as the very last completely satisfied CE consumer. This unofficial moniker was bestowed upon Billy Bob based upon the number of customer satisfaction surveys he and his family have completed over their lifetimes.